I met Jessie in the summer of 2005 between my junior and senior year of college. I needed a summer job and ran into Larry Sutton at one of the school functions. We got to talking and he told me about a job out at Camp Cascades to where he spends his time as a cook. Erika had mentioned working there off and on with his daughter Jamie. I knew I would need some money to pay for rent and textbooks at school, so I applied as a prep cook. I got the job and it started in the middle of June and lasted until I had to go back to school at the end of August.
For some reason, being in close quarters with someone for many hours a day, you forge a bond with them very quickly. We were pretty much friends within the week of meeting each other. As we got to know each other, we soon found out how much we had in common such as our age, we were both from the Pacific Northwest (she Oregon and me Washington), the humor we shared in just about everything, our funny discussions about things and for the most part, we were both pretty easy-going people. I am pretty sure she is the first person in my life that I've become friends with that fast.
For the next two years, we spent a lot of time going back and forth visiting each other and being around each other's family. This is where and when I met Tom. His personality was contagious, and he loved talking about sports. I fell into the trap because I loved sports too...just not the statistics and the referring part of it, but I listened because he loved it.
Tom grew up in the Buckley area and then made his way down to Linfield after graduating from White River High School to become a CPA. He instantly fell in love with the school, the purple and red and his Wildcats. During his freshman year, he met Becky whom he married after graduation in 1980. He was offered a job by his accounting professor and while doing that he was building his own tax practice. In 1985, he bought the practice and never looked back. He did this for 35 years while raising two daughters, Jessie and Molly, being a part of the McMinnville community -- Kiwanis, church, working the stat tables at various Linfield athletic games, reffed many middle school and high school football games through the Salem Football Officials Association (since 1998) and spent many weekends watching college and NFL football along with being a busy family man with dogs.
After I "technically" graduated from college, I was supposed to do an internship before I got my actual diploma. I asked Jessie if her dad could get me an internship within the Linfield Athletics' Department somehow. She said he would look into it. Tom got me connected with a lady named Dawn Graff-Height and she was the Emeritus Professor of Health Education within the athletics department. She, along with many of the professors and coaches there, wore many hats. She was willing to work with me because she saw a great opportunity in it.
We got everything situated, paperwork signed, and I moved down to McMinnville in August 2007. I had no money, no way of supporting myself while doing this internship and Tom and Becky were generous to bring me into their home for the duration of that time. Molly had just gone to college in Eugene and Jessie was deciding what she wanted to do with her life. She ended up enrolling into school on how to become a massage therapist. I stayed upstairs in Jessie's room for a little while and then gave me Molly's room so I would have more space. It worked pretty well, and I was able to get to know Jessie's mom and dad. Obviously, I missed my family, but I was also able to go home every once and a while to go see them.
As it approached the end of the internship, Linfield wanted to extend my offer to an actual job to finish out the school year. That meant, they were going to give me a room and board package and pay me for my time. I lived on campus and got a monthly stipend. I thanked the McFadden's for letting me stay with them, my Mom made them a quilt and kept in touch.
I went down to visit off and on after I had to return home because the economy got bad, and Linfield couldn't support an extra person...which was me. Then, like always, life got in the way, and I was not able to go visit as much as I wanted to. I had a heck of a time finding a job, my vehicle could blow up at any point and gas got super expensive at that time (which is less than what it is as I am currently writing this) without having a reliable job. I regret missing Jessie and Mike's wedding. I wasn't able to go because I was not able to afford gas, lodging for the weekend and I did not have a reliable car.
Tom and Becky retired, sold their house, Jessie and Mike moved to Medford and Molly moved to Florida with her daughter and husband. I think the last time I saw Tom in person was the summer of 2009 when we went to Depot Bay on a family vacation with them. Becky's mom had a timeshare at Otter Crest. We all had a great time. Time gets away from you and you don't realize it until something traumatic happens. Throughout the seven years Tom battled cancer, Jessie and I would chat every once and a while. I found out he lost his long, hard fought battle on March 14th surrounded by his family.
On March 15, 2022, I made this post:
"This morning I found out my friend Jessie, who I've known for 17 years, lost her dad, Tom, to cancer. It is hard to wake up to something like that knowing that one of your friends is experiencing pain, grief, sorry and the loss of losing a loved one--especially a parent. While I was living in McMinnville during my internship, Tom and her mom Becky, were gracious enough to let me live with them for six months while completing my requirements at Linfield so I could get my college diploma. While I lived there, I got to know her parents really well. I spent a lot of time with her dad on the man couch, watching football on the weekends. He joked around saying that I was the son he never had, since his daughters weren't really into sports, and I was. I thought his comment was hilarious. He had a great relationship with his friends and family, and he sure loved his Linfield Wildcats! Rest in peace Tom!"
I wanted to make sure I was there for Jessie and her family in their time of need. I did chat with Jessie for a little bit, but I knew not to overstep my boundaries because I knew she wanted to process this by herself for a while. Later on, she told me that they were going to hold a celebration of life for Tom at Linfield College on his birthday. I made sure I had that written on the calendar as soon as I could, so I didn't double book my weekend. It was important that I showed up for Tom and his family.
That morning, Ben and I got up by 6:30 and we were out the door by 7:15 because it was going to take us at least 2.5 hours to get down there...possibly with traffic. We got onto I-5 south and did not encounter any traffic, especially through Portland. We got off at Tigard and I told Ben stories of the many times I've driven this road to and from home. We followed 99W to Newburg and was directed to the new bypass without even realizing it until we were driving pass Dundee and into Lafyette. I thought to myself, I don't remember doing this last time I came down here, what just happened?
We got to McMinnville an hour before we were supposed to be at the college for Tom's memorial. I decided to stop at the Walmart so we could use the restroom and Ben could purchase some water because he forgot his Nalgene. I looked to see if they had any cool Oregon Duck gear. They really didn't have anything I really needed. I figured in the almost 15 years since I lived here it would be a Super Walmart by now...it wasn't. It literally had not changed since 2008.
We drove through town, and I showed Ben some of the places I spent my time at while I lived here. We got to Linfield's campus, parked on Lever Street and went inside after Ben changed his clothes. I brought a card, and my Linfield baseball hat Scott Brosius gave me because Tom would have wanted me to wear "the Lord's colors" to his memorial.
I chatted with Jessie and her mom for a little bit. Jessie had mentioned that they finally got that bypass done since this was the first time, I used it. She talked a little bit about the past and finally got to be with both Ben and I at the same time. The first time she met Ben, it was down in Medford during fire season in 2018. She and Mike brought Ben and his crew some muffins, jerky and water from Costco. We let them make the rounds of the other people who came while we found ourselves a place to sit after looking at Tom's belongings on the two tables.
It was an amazing set up. Becky, Jessie and Molly had set up some of his personal affects he wore, used and earned throughout his life. They even had a library of his books out for people to take home with them if they wanted to. Tom had given me a few baseball books many years ago that I still have.
I found out Tom was inducted into the Linfield Hall of Fame in November 2014 for Meritorious Service. I went to the Paul Durham Foyer to check out the trophies and awards. This foyer didn't exist when I worked here. There, I saw Tom's name. I bet getting that award was one of his proudest moments.
The tables donned the Wildcats' purple and red and a lot of people came. We listened to three people give personal eulogies about Tom and there were many similarities in each. Tom loved his family, faith and his Linfield Wildcats. He worked hard, was a master of numbers and statistics and had a strong relationship with everyone he has ever come into contact with. He is very passionate and consistent in everything he ever did. Tom was the same person at work, at home, refereeing as well as sitting in the press box.
I will have to admit. It was very surreal coming to McMinnville and Tom wasn't here. I will always cherish those moments sitting on the man couch with him chatting about football. He and Becky were very generous opening their home to me while I was doing my internship at Linfield in 07-08. The Lord gained another good person even though it was way too soon.
As the memorial was coming to an end, I wanted to see Jessie one more time before Ben and I headed out. We chatted for a few more minutes, got a photo of us together and gave each other a hug. We also saw Becky before we left and thanked her for inviting us. She thanked us for making the trip down. We got into the Escape and headed towards Keizer.
I am not sure why the Nuvi took us in the direction that it did, but we ended up on the Wheatland Ferry that took us across the Willamette River from Yamhill County to Marion County. We paid $3 to get onto the tiny ferry that could hold maybe 12 cars. The entire ride was less than 5 minutes. I guess our GPS wanted us to have a random adventure! We got back onto the road onto the other side and continued onto Keizer.
Along the way, I told Ben a couple stories of the several times I came to the area with Jessie and her family. We made our way to the In N Out. I said to him, we can't come within 30 miles of In N Out and not go. He agreed. We got into the long drive thru line and waited. It was about a 40-minute wait. I had not had In N Out since July 22, 2017, when we were in Reno to bring Erika home. I was so overdue. We ate and got onto I-5 south so I could go to the Oregon State Hospital because I wanted to get the One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (GC88Z1M) virtual cache.
Jessie posted this on my post about In N Out: "Dad would have definitely approved the In N Out detour!"
We finished our food, got out and completed the cache.
We got back in the Escape, got onto I-5 north towards Woodburn. We got off and took Ben to another cool cache, Pinball Wizard (GC3R6V0), I found a couple years ago with Mom. He enjoyed it.
We drove into the actual town of Woodburn so we could use the restroom and get gas before heading north towards home. We found one in the Walmart parking lot called Tram Law #1 (GC67XG3) and looked for a cheap gas station.
The rain was gross the entire time driving to Bonney Lake from Woodburn. We got to Ben's Mom's house around 7:30 after stopping by the store to pick up some salad for Amy and Jean's birthday party the next day. We changed our clothes and played rummy until bedtime. I beat everyone at rummy!
It was nice to go back to McMinnville but sad because of the circumstance. We got to celebrate Tom and the life he lived, see old friends and the places I used to live and work. It was interesting to see how much the athletics building had changed since 2008. Rest in peace Tom! You will be missed by many!
Next Adventure: Amy and Jean's Pizza Birthday Party
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