Researchers have studied that married people are happier and live longer than single people. I have always hoped to be married before I was 30. I am at the part of my life to where I want to share it with some one. I want them to be interested in the things I like to do and vice versa. They have to actually care about you and wonder what you are up to and actually take the time out of their day.
I recently got out of a relationship. When it began it was great. I honestly thought it would go longer than it did, I put in a lot of effort to make it work. He did at first, but it stopped about half way into it. I have no idea why and he has told me he really doesn’t know either, but I think he did and didn’t want to say anything. I continued with it after I saw that he stopped communicating (calls, messages, texts) just to see how long it would go. I got a lot out of it. He always paid for everything and I felt bad but everyone told me not to worry about it because that’s what guys are suppose to do. I always was driving down there. He rarely came to see me. If you cared enough about someone and wanted to be around them, wouldn’t you make the effort? (I know several people who make it work with longer distances). My parents didn’t care if he stayed at our house. He cared for some reason. When I asked him if he wanted to come watch my games when the season started up, I could tell he really didn’t want to come watch. He never told me why. I always did the things he was interested in. There were some things I didn’t like about him (there will always be some stuff you don’t like about another person). He was a bad communicator, I initiated everything, he wasn’t very compassionate, played too many video games and computer games, drank too much with his friends and most of the time cared about his friends more than me.
Sometimes I felt more like a buddy than a girlfriend. I saw a huge change seven months into it. He flat out asked me “how is this a relationship?” A relationship is indefinable. It is what you make of it. It’s what you perceive it to be. It’s what you put into it. We were less than three hours apart…really not that bad compared to others I know. Like I said before, if you care enough about that person, the distance doesn’t matter. He had a weird work schedule and it worked until I started fastpitch. He couldn’t wait until May like we had planned. I told him when we got into this that I couldn’t move until the next summer (2010). He seemed okay with it then, what the hell changed? Maybe he was done with the routine or he didn’t like that I couldn’t spend time with him very much, I doubt that, but you never know. I’m not saying that it’s anyone’s fault or trying to point fingers at anyone, I would just like to have seen him make the effort if he really liked me. Maybe he didn’t and this was an eight month long fling.
Maybe this is a precursor to something better? I believe all things happen for a reason. I was suppose to meet and spend time with this person only for a brief moment in time and will I ever know why? Maybe, sometime down the road. Relationships are hard and even harder to maintain and I’m definitely up for the challenge if given another chance. I hope it’s the last one because I’m ready to stop looking.
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