I was absolutely heartbroken when I read the news on Nick's Facebook feed. I knew Joe struggled with diabetes most of this life, but I never thought it would take him away from us this soon. He passed away just after Christmas in his chair while his wife was by his side.
I waited to see when his family would have a celebration for him and chatted with Debbie often to find out when it was going to happen. I even let her now that L&I had a special announcement about him on the L&I intranet page. I made sure she got a copy of it. She and her family were forever thankful.
She messaged me a few weeks later letting me know that they were going to have a celebration for Joe at the end of April and to check the mail in the next few days for an invitation. I passed on this information to Melanie, Linda and Laura if they were able to come.
The end of April arrived faster than I thought it would. Ben and I got some nice clothes on and headed up to the Jacob Smith House, which was right down the road from where we lived. We parked, walked in, saw some people we knew, chatted, grabbed a drink and found a place to sit down. I sat down next to Melanie my first boss I had when I started at L&I. We chatted with her for a few minutes until it was time for the celebration to begin.
I was able to connect with Nick, Debbie, Chris and Anne before we left for the rest of our day. We thanked them for inviting us and were sorry they had to go through something this life changing too soon.
Later on, that day I felt it was necessary to let everyone know about Joe. This is what I wrote about him:
"This afternoon, we celebrated the life of Joe Molenda at the historical Jacob Smith House in Lacey. It was a nice service full of family, friends, co-workers and love. His family put together a nice representation of all the things Joe loved to do and a plethora of lifetime memories through photos, notes, drawings and music. It was overwhelming looking at it all. I had no idea Joe was that busy!
I was saddened to hear of his passing from his son, Nick, who shared the news on Facebook this past winter. I was happy to hear that he was at home with his beloved wife Debbie, who was there by his side, when it was time for him to move on.
It opened up with some kind words from a family friend and then the reins were given to his kids, Chris, Nick and Deanna. I knew it was going to be hard for them to talk about their dad in front of people without breaking down, but it was great to hear their different perspectives on how they viewed their dad.
Chris opened up with a prepared tribute and spoke about the great memories and advice that his dad gave him while growing up. He has used those words given to him over the years to make him the best dad he can be to his children.
Nick was next, and he brought some notes up with him to keep him on track of what he wanted to share with us about his dad. He shared some stories with us but framed it in such a way that his dad was a huge role model in his life. His two passions, baseball and the drums, were because of Joe. He saw his dad enjoy doing them and he wanted to do them as well. He will also pass on his dad's wisdom to his children.
Deanna, his youngest, decided to wing it. It was very emotional, but she got through it in one piece. She spoke about the deep conversations she and her dad shared and that she appreciated that she could talk to him about anything without any judgement.
There was a video montage put together by his children and it was fun to see Joe living his life.
We took an "intermission" to get snacks, drinks and mingle with the crowd. When we returned to our seats the floor was opened to whomever wanted to share their stories, thoughts or memories about Joe. His wife, Debbie, thanked us all for coming out and was blessed to have someone like Joe to spend the rest of their lives together, even if it was cut short. She takes it day by day with the support of family, friends and remembering the good times. She wrote a beautiful poem that was read aloud to everyone.
I am not known to volunteer to stand up in front of everyone and talk. I had to muster up everything I could to stand up and talk to everyone about my experience/memories with Joe.
I told everyone who I was and how I knew Joe. I grew up with Chris and Nick in Rainier and knew of him from afar. He was the quite man who showed up to his kid's baseball games and school concerts in his trench coat and hat. He had just gotten off work to make it there in time. The next time I remember being around Joe was when Nick played in a band called HARPS in Seattle. I was finally able to make it to one of his concerts. His family came to support him as well. I didn't speak to Joe that much, but he knew we were there to watch Nick rock out on the drums.
Then I got a job at L&I back in 2015. My boss, Melanie, told me that I would be working with a guy named Joe. That could have been anyone, to be honest. He walked into the office, and I was like," I get to work with Nick's dad!?" Such a small world but I believe there was a reason why I was paired up with him.
I learned A LOT from Joe while we worked together on a records retention project. The first half hour of each day, when I reported to his desk, was a random story, advice or the latest current world problem. Joe was very thorough and tedious when he gave directions on how to do something. I would ask questions and he would give me very thoughtful answers. By the time it was my turn to work on the project I knew exactly what I was doing. He made boring work fun and I always looked forwards to what kind of advice he was going to give me each day.
Even when he retired from the state in 2018, I couldn't leave his party without him giving me some sort of advice. I did not surprise me at all, and it still makes me smile to this day.
It was wrapped up with more kind words and a haiku before everyone got up for more hugs and fellowship. I made my rounds to people I knew and had some great chats with them before Ben and I went home.
There are no words to fully describe Joe, his life and all of the good he did in this world, but we can still try every day by sharing it with those who will listen.
Debbie, thank you for sharing Joe with us, he was one of a kind!"
I will always remember the days I spent with Joe in OHR and the records department. I will take all that advice he gave me and share it with those who will accept it. I will miss talking to him.
Next Adventure: Blue Switch Day at Priest Point Park
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