Since the spring/summer of 2021, Megan had been going back and forth from Colorado to spend time with her mom, Jean, months at a time. She was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer, which meant, the outlook wasn't very good, but we all had hope. At first, I wasn't aware of this but saw Megan's truck in her mom's driveway one day while I was headed home from Rainier. I was curious on why she wouldn't tell me she was here but there must have been a really good reason why.
I texted her that I saw her truck in Rainier and she said she had been there for a few weeks. She told me the situation and to keep it to myself for a while. Jean wasn't ready to tell people. I agreed and asked if she was going to be there for a while. She said yes and could possibly hang out every now and then...probably in Rainier though. I told her that would be fine. We could go on walks and rollerblade. She said she would love that distraction.
I went out there a few times over the course of four months to walk, rollerblade, and get updates on how Jean is doing and what the next steps were. It was going to be a rough go, but Jean was determined and so were her daughters.
Megan went back to Colorado in late August/early September and Kelsey moved up from Texas, stationed herself at JBLM and lived with Jean in Rainier for a while. Later on, they moved into a house in Lacey while Jean finished up the 2021-2022 school year. Then it didn't go so well during the late summer of 2022. Megan and Chaise moved from Colorado to Spokane which made the drive over to Lacey not as bad. Megan came over a few times to stay with Jean and Kelsey and then that fall she stayed up through into December.
Jean decided she was tired and that it was time to go. Megan and Kelsey were sitting by her side when she told them that. I can't imagine hearing a loved one tell me that. Megan asked her if she could hold on just one more day because it was Kelsey's birthday on the 27th. She said she would. The next day, Monday, November 28th, she slipped away while sleeping and both girls were next to her, holding her hand. Again, I can't imagine how they felt or what they experienced when their mom took her last breath. She didn't want to leave, especially on her youngest daughter's birthday.
I read Megan's post and was heartbroken for them. I knew Jean was Megan's best friend and they talked just about every day. Megan told me that was going to be the hardest part...not being able to talk to her again. I understood the pain not being able to talk to my grandmother Eileen anymore.
I met up with Megan in early December to visit for a bit. She was overwhelmed with the amount of paperwork there was when someone passed away. She said there was so much to do. I've never lost a parent before, so I imagine there is a lot of stuff you gotta do as the beneficiaries. We chatted for about an hour before she had to go do some other stuff before heading back to Spokane. I thanked her for setting aside time to hang out. She said that they were going to try and have a memorial for Jean sometime in January or February. I told her to let me know if she needs any help. We gave each other a hug (we're not really huggers) just because I think she needed one.
I didn't hear from her for a little bit and then she made a Facebook event for her mom's celebration, and I promptly shared it. I wrote the date on the calendar and immediately started looking for the scarf Jean made me in high school. I am so thankful I found it after searching through everything.
The day of the celebration I picked Mom up and we drove to the high school gym. It was nice to see all the people who came to celebrate Jean. Megan and Kelsey provided snacks, extra scarfs and cowls available for people to have. They had a computer set up for a picture slideshow and greeted everyone as they found a place to sit down. Both Megan and Kelsey had speeches prepared and it was interesting to hear what they had to say about their mom. They were similar but different. Megan had a few moments where she had to compose herself. I don't know how anyone can get through a speech about their loved ones without breaking down.
A few of Jean's friends from the school stood up there and read kind words and memories they all shared with Jean. It was nice to hear some of their funny stories. We concluded the celebration with a short slide show. Megan and Kelsey thanked everyone for coming and we all got up and mingled around the gym. I shared some of my stories about Jean with people who would listen.
This is what I wrote on Facebook later on that evening. I wanted everyone to know how amazing of a person Jean was to everyone around her:
"This afternoon we had to say goodbye to another person who impacted our little community of Rainier, especially in the school district. There was a great turn out of people which made Megan and Kelsey smile a little more.
I met Jean Fitzgerald through her oldest daughter, Megan back in 1993, while we were in elementary school, I believe it was through Girl Scouts. I was a super shy kid but for some reason we were supposed to be friends. It came easily for us. From then until we could drive, she was our taxi to and from countless events such as various sporting games, practices, away football games, hanging out at friends' houses, -- all while we listened to awful music in that van...that poor van...the literal crap was driven out of it. She juggled many things, work, school, raising two daughters through some tough times and still finding some time for adventures.
I spent a lot of time over at their house when they lived in Rainier. I was always welcomed over there. It was like a second home. Jean always seemed to have food available to whatever group of kids were there at the time, including snacks. The first time I got on the internet was at her house. I remember sitting with Megan at the computer desk listening to that horrible dial up AOL sound followed by the "you've got mail!"
She always had pets around, whether it was a couple of dogs (which you probably saw her waking them around town often), or a bird named Tiki. Speaking of Tiki, let me tell you a story about that Cockatiel and Jean. Back when I was still in high school and Megan was at her first year at WSU, I was asked if I wanted to go with them to McCall for some sort of break, I'm pretty sure it was spring break, and I told them it would be fun, and we hammered out all the details. I was in the back of the van; Kelsey was in the middle section and Jean drove. We were going to stop in Pullman on the way over and pick up Megan. I had never been to Pullman at that point and didn't realize how long of a drive it was. Next to me, nearby, was a box and I didn't want to be super nosey, so I didn't ask what was in it. I was going to wait until Megan joined us. We finally got to Pullman, picked up Megan and finished driving the almost 4 hours to McCall, Idaho. I finally got the nerve to ask what was in the box and Jean said, almost deadpan like, "oh, that's our dead bird Tiki, we're going to bury Tiki in McCall." I said, "so I sat next to a dead bird for like 10 hours?!" Then there was a lot of laughing. (We had a great time in McCall visiting Megan's grandparents,)
I knew she was in the military, but she never talked about it very much. I knew her as Mrs. Fitz the paraeducator. She would tell us stories about her students, their struggles and how she was able to get the information across to them to where they understood it. It does take a special kind of person, with lots of patience, to teach kids with different needs. Jean put in the time to change the lives of these kids. Today, I met one of those kids who needed a little more attention in school to become successful and talked to her a little bit. She said that Mrs. Fitz was her favorite teacher and will miss her dearly.
I've always known Jean to be crafty. She was always working on some sort of project...mostly with yarn. I wore, what I consider an antique now, my orange, black and white scarf she knitted for me while I was in high school. As of this year, that scarf is 25 years old. I tore the house and the garage a part last weekend looking for that scarf before today's celebration of life. It was important to me that I wore that scarf that she made me all those years ago. That was my piece of Jean and my piece of a homemade gift she put time into because she loved doing it. I will keep that scarf forever.
She was surrounded by many friends and family over the years, most of them were co-workers at the school. A lot of those adventures were with them. Lots of brisk walks were had with the reward of a nice, shared lunch or dinner afterwards, some kayaking, horseback riding, hiking Mount Rainier and numerous craft field trips. Jean had many boxes and containers of yarn and fabric, and it blew my mind when I saw them. Megan told us today that her mom had an entire quilt ready to sew together but never got to finish it. My mom said she would put it together for her and Kelsey to keep.
There are never enough words or stories to best remember someone who touched your life whether it was briefly or for many years. It is important to continue telling those stories about those people we lost, some way too soon. Jean touched many lives, donated her time to better others, loved her family and enjoyed being rowdy with her friends.
To Megan and Kelsey, you had a great mom. I will miss her."
Next Adventure: February Instant Pot Extravaganza
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