The worst part was I was the only one in my group that had to find a new job or go back to the mailroom where I came from. It's not that I didn't like the mailroom it was just I moved on and going back would be regressing. I was very thankful that my manager in the mailroom kept my job just in case that happened. I was forever grateful. I struggled with the reality of it. Why was this happening to me? Why can't I get a normal job at the state? I've had non-perms, part-times and I was so tired of worrying about what job I would be in next or most importantly was I good enough to keep it?
While I worked on April enrollment I was also working on my career self development. We would spend a few hours a week working on my resume, my cover letter, weekly mock interviews and visiting different business areas to find out what they do and if I was interested in it. I appreciated all the support my unit gave me during this time because it was difficult.
I had several one on one's with Tim and some group ones with my lead and a bunch with my enrollment team. How I felt about it never got any better. Tim also gave me some "homework assignments" as the weeks went on. I just didn't want to leave the unit. I enjoyed the work, it was challenging and I liked the people I worked with. Tim fostered a pretty good work environment. Of course it wasn't perfect because there is always something we could work on to make it better. He said this a lot, "we're getting close but we're not there yet".
It's not that I fear the unknown. I just didn't want to apply for a job I didn't like or have a manager that I didn't like because it makes for a really long work day. These were the main reasons why I was so hesitant to apply to certain areas. I knew what I was going back to in the mailroom, a situation that was better than when I left it, but as I mentioned before didn't really want to regress.
I just started applying for everything I thought I was qualified for and I knew by doing that it would bite me in the butt. That included leaving L&I...something I really didn't want to do.
I ran out of time trying to solidify a job before my time in Retro was done. I had a bunch of pending applications I was waiting to hear back from.
They had a going away party for me and it felt really thrown together, no one was really there that day and none of the stuff I wanted actually happened. It was pretty lame but I went along with it just to be nice. There was food, a scavenger hunt and a piñata. We couldn't actually do the piñata because it would have been unsafe.
My official last day in Retro was end of business day May 8th, which was a Tuesday but Tim wanted a clean break. That meant the Friday before the weekend. My last actual day was going to be May 4th and it was okay with Tim as well as Trina in the mailroom. Yes, I would return to the mailroom as of May 7th.
I made sure to go through all of my emails, binders, handouts and officially finish April enrollment before I left. I was very sad moving my stuff back downstairs that Thursday and Friday. I really didn't want to and I was afraid that I wouldn't remember how to do anything that I learned down in the mailroom since I was gone for a year.
I said my goodbyes, even though I would continue to see everyone as I pass by with the mail cart. Plus, I eat lunch with Liz almost everyday...when she is at work. I will miss this opportunity that I was given and wished that it could have gone on longer than just a year.
Next Adventure: Mother's Day
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