The day of.
I slept maybe...two hours at the most?
I worried the entire night about waking up on time, getting ready on time, something going wrong, my brother and Dad not getting to the venue on time for pictures, the food vendor not arriving on time, standing up in front of everyone and speaking, seeing people I haven't seen in years and not messing up our dance. My brain was a mess.
However, I did get up with a lot of nervous energy before 6 a.m. I had to get up and do something. It was a strange feeling because I knew I should have been tired, but I was wide awake and ready to go. I quickly checked my phone to see if I got any messages. I saw that Megan was up super early and sent me some photos of the arch.
I sat up and told Ben to get up and start getting ready. Time was going to go by super fast. I put on some clothes, washed my face and headed over to the main house. Most everyone was awake but moving slowly. I decided to walk out to the arch, really quick, and put our loved one's items on their chairs. I knew I wouldn't have time to do this as it got later and later. I went back up to the house.
There were people in the kitchen making random breakfast meals. There were muffins, cereal, English muffins, eggs, cheese, meats, coffee, juices, fruit etc. I chose to make myself a quick McMuffin and had some fruit. I did not have much of an attention span because I was trying to think of everything I needed to do before the photographers came.
**Side note: Ben and I did not care if we saw each other before the ceremony. This is why we got ready together, did some hair and make up together and took pictures before the ceremony. We also wanted to get our professional pictures done before the ceremony, so our guests didn't have to sit there for a long time and wait for us.
Celeste texted us letting everyone know she and Isaac were on their way down and if they needed to stop anywhere before they arrived. I told her no; we have everything we needed and to see her and Isaac in a bit.
After a quick breakfast, people grabbed showers, hogged mirrors and started getting their formal attire on. I grabbed my dress out of the cottage and brought it into the room that Megan stayed in. Nicole, Megan and Erika were in there figuring out how they wanted to do their hair. I was so glad I didn't have to worry about hair and make up because I have a talented person who does that for me. At times the house got crazy, and I tried answering as many questions as possible if they came up.
I finally got into my body suit, dress, tiny socks and my rad shoes and waited for my turn with Celeste. She worked on Trish and Grandma's hair before it was time for me to sit in the chair. I walked over to the bridal suit in the warehouse. She started with my make up first and then my hair. The girls made their way over as they finished getting ready.
By about 9:30, most everyone was ready to go and started heading over towards the barn. Ben and his boys spent some time prefunking before it was time for professional pictures. Our photographers did get there early so they took a series of pictures of Ben and his boys getting ready in the groomsmen suite and down in the bar area. They came into the bridal suite and took a few pictures of Celeste finishing up my hair make up. I had Nicole dab foundation on my knee where I scraped it earlier that week. I fell in the garage putting some stuff away. Of course, it would happen before the wedding, and that I chose to wear a short dress.
We had some guests arrive super early, luckily, we didn't have to entertain them. They just hung out and people watched.
My Dad and brother did make it to the venue on time for pictures. From 10ish to about 11:30, our photographers, Devyn and Bryan were in charge. Ben and I had sent a list to them about a month prior, of what kinds of shots we wanted with our family, friends and wedding party. You know, to make it go as smooth as possible.
Everyone looked so good. Ben was super handsome in his dark blue suit and green shirt and his shoes went well with the outfit. His hair looked great, and his smile was intense! You could tell we were both excited that this day finally arrived! I have been told by many people that it goes by fast and to soak up as much of it as possible.
We started off with the many group shots in and outside of the barn. They took hundreds of shots. I knew they would pick the best version once they went through them all. Everyone cooperated because they knew they had to, due to what kind of event it was, and I know not everyone loves taking gobs of photos, but they did it anyway. They all hung in there and got it over with. Then Devyn and Bryan took Ben and I around the property and took photos of just us. Ben and I had so much fun!
We finished up photos and I decided to loiter in the entrance of the barn. Mom, Dad, Doug, Erika and Sonya were standing outside, and I joined them. We talked for a few minutes. My Dad told me that I looked like I was ready for a tennis match because of my short dress and tennis shoes. I replied, isn't Wimbledon being played right now? Doug and Sonya walked away to go find seats at the ceremony. Dad added, doesn't Doug look like an 80's coke dealer? I laughed and told him that he does!
I was so excited to see everyone, and that people were coming to see Ben and me in a different setting. There were people I see often, to people I haven't seen in a few years, to people I haven't seen in decades, to people I've never met. It was going to be a great day!
As it approached noon, more and more people arrived at the Barn on Jackson. There were a few people in particular I could not wait to hug. I knew a lot of them came to the wedding just to see me in a dress, make up and my hair done...I kid you not. There were some of my friends and family who have not met Ben in person, but they have seen him in my posts throughout the years. There were some of our guests who couldn't make it because of other plans, illness or just couldn't make the trip for whatever reason. I stood there in the doorway welcoming people in with hugs and a huge smile on my face. Everyone was glowing.
I retreated back to the bridal suite to hang out with my Mom and the bridesmaids for the remaining time before the ceremony. Ben and his boys were in the room across from ours probably taking more shots of whiskey, lol. We gathered up everyone, went into the barn and then downstairs to the "staging" area. All the bridesmaids and groomsmen were present, Willmarth and my Dad were there and Darin and Barb were there to help facilitate. I got super nervous because now I would have to go stand in front of everyone and speak.
I thought to myself, maybe I should have taken a shot of Ben's whiskey, instead I chose to be sober during the ceremony because I wanted to remember it and not make a complete fool out of myself in front of everyone.
1 p.m. finally struck the clock and Willmarth's song, I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash, played in the background. He had his documents with him and was immediately got mic'd up. Darin had explained to us the day before that the mic on Willmarth will pick up our voices as well, so we didn't also have to wear mics.
Come and Get Your Love by Redbone played next. Our pairs of bridesmaids and groomsmen walked down the aisle. We told them they could walk in and out however they want to. Some had fun with it while others were conservative about it. Our maid of honor and best man, Erika and Josh went first, followed by Nicole and Del and finally Megan and Michael, who completed the wedding party.
The music changed abruptly and Kickstart My Heart boomed over the speakers. Ben came out and yelled out, "It's been 11 years in the making, let's do this!" He even received some high fives as he came down the aisle. The music stopped and it was now my turn. I still could not believe this day was finally here. I grabbed my Dad's arm and asked if he was ready.
The piano version of the WSU fight song started playing. I found it on Tic Tok a few weeks prior. Barb signaled to us, and we left the bar area into the ceremony area outside. Everyone stood up. I looked at Ben and then looked to see who all showed up after I retreated to the bridal suite earlier. I was so nervous, not because I was marrying Ben, but because I hate standing up in front of people and talking. I did not like being the center of attention, but sadly, the bride is...for some reason. We walked down the aisle slowly so the song could finish playing. Dad and I stood at the end and waited until Willmarth asked, who gives this bride away? Dad said, her mother and I do.
I joined hands with Ben and Dad sat down next to Mom. Ben looked handsome and I knew he was trying not to cry, so he smiled bigger. I was excited that this day was finally here, and Ben and I were finally doing this crazy thing.
Willmarth welcomed everyone and immediately went into who he was, for those who didn't know him, and how he knew Ben and me. He started off with how he knew my family which was though my Grandmother Eileen, who passed away in 2018, she was best friends with his mother, Bev, and he met me when I was a baby. My Grandmother would tote me around and often it would be to Bev's house. Willmarth remembered me hanging out at the house when he and his brother would come home from school.
He was my teacher and coach throughout high school and when I graduated and he moved away, I would spend time, about twice a year, hanging out with him and eventually his wife, Shannon, over in central Washington. The only time I wasn't able to go over there was during Covid. He went into when he met Ben and how he complimented me. Willmarth liked him right away even though he wasn't a basketball player. Willmarth and Shannon adopted a special needs kid named Kevin, and he talked about how Kevin immediately took to Ben. Kevin looked forward to the times we were able to go and visit. Willmarth talked about the one time we had an epic Nerf gun war in the house and how crazy it got.
His next segment was about how life is a series of ups and downs like a rollercoaster, and he didn't think he would have such great advice for people getting married, since he has been married and divorced twice, but it didn't matter to Ben or me because that doesn't measure who a person is. It's just that certain person wasn't going to continue being a part of your journey. He did joke around a couple times, which I welcomed, I knew he would give a great ceremony speech. He did end the personal part with advice for Ben. He held up a sign that said YES DEAR YOU ARE RIGHT! and the other side said, YES DEAR I WAS WRONG! It was a hoot!
He told everyone that Ben and I were going to read each other our vows. Ben went first. The entire time I had to look beyond Ben into the trees or I would almost start crying. I went second. I made sure I typed mine out in a larger print, made deliberate pauses and so I wouldn't read it too fast, I had to use my L&I telephone voice to annunciate and keep me from rushing through it. I thought I did a great job, and I enjoyed writing my vows. There was some history, some promises to Ben and I sprinkled a little bit of humor in it because I could not help myself. Both our vows were similar which was insane. The only person that read them beforehand was his mom and she loved both of them.
Next, Willmarth went into the declaration of intent, the important parts for the legal part of it. He ran through his script for Ben first, he put the ring on me, I said I do, and then he said the same stuff to me to repeat and I put Ben's ring on his finger, and he said I do. He finished off the script by telling everyone that with his credentials he pronounces Ben and I husband and wife and Ben kissed the bride! After we were done, we bowed, and everyone clapped and cheered. I was so relieved that part was over. I really hate standing up in front of people.
The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News played over the crowd. We walked down the aisle hand in hand and went into the barn. Our wedding party followed. Darin made an announcement that people can get drinks and head on upstairs for food and the other festivities. I wandered around the bottom of the barn saying hi to everyone, thanking them for coming and lots of hugs were had. People started to shuffle up the stairs and Ben and I stayed behind so we could make our entrance and be announced to everyone.
I heard that Randy and Isaac were great bar tenders. It was the perfect job for them.
Most everyone was upstairs a few minutes later. Ben and I waited down at the bottom of the stairs and listened for Darin's cue to come up the stairs. Ben and I went up the stairs slowly until we heard Darin's announcement, we grabbed each other's hands and Darin said over the speakers, "I present to you for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Crawford!" We walked in, raised our hands, gave out some high fives and everyone cheered. It was such a cool experience. Ben and I walked over to our table on the stage, got comfortable and sat down.
I noticed that our cupcakes and cake were brought into the barn from the fridge and neatly placed on our cake towers.
Ben and I were hoping that we could jump right into the food but sadly, our caterer got a late start, and the food wasn't done yet. We had to stall, so we decided to do the toasts and speeches first. Darin welcomed everyone again and opened up the floor for the wedding party and friends to give their toasts. Barb took the mic and handed it off to the wedding party first. Josh, Erika, Michael and Nicole all spoke on our behalf. They were all unique speeches with one reoccurring element in each, Ben and I are people who will be there for you in a time of need whether it's to borrow money, our time, a shoulder to lean on or available for conversations. When each person hit on one of those topics, I noticed everyone who we have helped out in the crowd, smiled and nodded their heads. I toasted with my Cougar beer I got a few weeks prior, Ol' Crimson Legendary Lager.
Then the floor was open for anyone who wanted to speak. My brother gave a heartfelt speech in front of everyone and even cried, Trish said a few words, Amy said some stuff and was misunderstood, my Dad shared some words, Wendy told a few stories and was happy to speak up in front of everyone and finally Ben, who thanked everyone for coming again and if it wasn't for each and every one sitting in that building, we wouldn't be who we are that day. Both him and I meant it. Our paths crossed with everyone in there for a reason, even the people we invited that couldn't be there.
As soon as we were done with speeches and toasts, our caterer told us it was finally done, and we could dish up. Darin announced that the bridge and groom would be going first, followed by the wedding party and then the tables in an orderly fashion. Ben and I got up, grabbed some food and sat down. I really wanted to go and visit with people. My body was still on a high of standing up in front of everyone and I didn't have much of an appetite. I did eat some of my food before people started to come up to us to visit and take pictures.
We were going to make the time for our guests because they made the time for us. Both Ben and I spent a good hour or so wandering around and talking to people. I tried to visit each table and visit for a few minutes. A lot of my conversations were how I looked and that I was wearing a dress, but I expected it. Just about everyone enjoyed our venue, decorations, attire and the atmosphere. I had fun talking to our guests and getting in the photos they wanted. Both Ben and I were smiling from ear to ear.
We saw that our cake was melting. It was only supposed to be 82 that day but ended up being 90 degrees by late afternoon. Everyone thought it would be a good idea to do the cake before anything else. Ben and I got behind our cake, grabbed the axe (people wondered what the axe was for), held it above his head and cut into the cake. I told him he better not smash cake all over my face or he will be wearing it. He was nice about it and we both ate some of the cake. I am not sure who boxed it up after we were done with it.
Like, I had mentioned earlier, some of our guests we haven't seen in a long time but there was one guest neither Ben nor I have met. His name is Christopher and Ben has known him for many years. He met him while playing online video games and has always wanted to meet him but never was able to make it over to New York. Well, Christopher made the insane one-day trek over to Washington State to attend our wedding and meet us. He walked up to us and introduced himself. Ben was super stoked to finally have met him. We chatted for about 20 minutes, and he wandered away to grab more food and drinks. Later on, he thanked Ben for inviting him and he left early that evening so he could get back to New York before the next day.
One of my college friends, Christin, came up from Arizona to be at our wedding. I haven't seen her in person since she graduated from WSU in the spring of 2004. We message each other on Facebook and send Christmas cards every year. It was finally great to see and catch up with her. We tried meeting up spring 2023 when Mom and I were in Arizona, but it sadly didn't work out. I told her the next time I am down there; we are definitely going to meet up.
There was one picture that I wanted of me with my oldest and dearest friends. I got our photographer's attention and made sure all ten of us made it into that photo. We met downstairs in the bar area and Bryan and Devyn took several of them. The last time we got a photo similar to this was in 2018 at Lindsay's wedding. Brandon was the only one missing from that photo because he couldn't make it, but he was able to come to our wedding.
Ben and I also got a picture with our sports flags. This was also a picture we both wanted at our wedding. We mingled for a little bit downstairs until Darin announced that we would be doing the first dance and the rest of the reception if people wanted to head down to the bottom of the barn. Some people left throughout the afternoon due to other obligations and some people stayed.
Ben wanted to do a choreographed dance for our wedding, so I agreed to do that for him. We spent about 5 months figuring out what songs we wanted to include, what order and how we wanted to dance to them. We spent many hours in our living room going through the dance moves, making decisions, changing our minds, rearranging the order and practicing. I, personally, suck at dancing. I am not good at it and having to remember certain moves at certain times gave me anxiety.
My heart was pounding in my chest, and my adrenaline was off the hook when Ben and I got in front of everyone and waited for our cue. We started off with our first slow dance to Thank God by Kane Brown. Then our first transition led us into our first choreographed set, My Songs Know What You Did in The Dark (Light Em Up). I had to think a few steps ahead, so I was in sync with Ben and keep up with the song. That song was broken up by Bring It On's Get Ready for This spirit fingers song. We did part of Michael Jackson's Thriller dance and then Ben danced with his mom to Then by Brad Paisley. He said that he and his mom had a hard time not crying.
The song transitioned to Hey Pretty Girl by Kip Moore. I grabbed my Dad so we could dance, he said, "I haven't danced in a really long time, this is nice." He was right, it was nice. We had another transition and Ben, and I joined together to do some old school dancing (the twist) to Uma Thurman by Fall Out Boy. We both met in the middle as the song transitioned again, this time to Wonder What You're Doing for the Rest of Your Life by Train and to Ben's favorite style of dancing, swing. Of course, I let him lead.
As that song ended and our last one began, you could hear people chattering about the song we chose as our grand finale. Ben and I love A Goofy Movie and watched it as kids. We found a slow version of I2I by Tevin Campbell and mixed it with the original track you hear from the movie. This dance was really hard for me to learn because it had several different parts, it was quick, and we had to be in sync, or it would look bad. We practiced this and the Light Em Up song the most. I thought I kept up well and we were having fun doing the moves to the music. I looked at the crowd a few times and they were all smiling and having a great time watching us. The song finished and we finished it with a kiss. Our guests clapped and some complimented us on how well we did. I knew it wasn't perfect by all means but it wasn't too terrible either. That opened the floor for everyone else to dance if they wished to.
Both Ben and I wandered around talking to our guests once again. There were more pictures taken, lots of visiting and compliments. I tried making the rounds to anyone who wanted to chat for a little bit. I was handed a note that was left by Willmarth. He had to leave early because his stepdad had a stroke, and he wanted to go see him before he left to go back to Spokane. He assured me that he would get our wedding paperwork out on Monday. I was hoping to visit with him some more. At one point I heard Ben and his friends chanting Sounder's songs. The day was a blur.
Just before noticing the crowd was thinning as it approached the evening, Liz came up to me and thanked me for inviting her to the wedding. I told her she was always going to be invited and thanked her for coming. We gave each other some compliments and we started in on the small talk. I told her I missed hanging out with her and being her friend, and we basically made amends that moment. We both really had no idea what happened to our friendship, and I hoped we would hammer it out sometime in the near future. She briefly told me what she had been up to since we last spoke, Darren's unfortunate story and how she is moving forward with her life with her kids. I think we stood there talking for over a half hour. I told her it was great seeing her and thanked her again for coming because it meant a lot to me. We exchanged hugs, she gathered up her two girls and headed home.
I chatted with some of my childhood friends for a bit and then decided it was time to use the restroom. I knew it was going to be an ordeal because of the body suit I was wearing under my dress. I went over to the bridal suite to grab a few things and ran into Fitzy on my way outside...apparently, she needed to use the restroom too. I told her I was on my way to the house and if she wanted to accompany me over. She said sure.
Let me tell ya, the process of using the restroom was quite the ordeal. I won't go into details, but Fitzy did ask if I was okay at one point, lol. On the way back to the venue, I thanked her for coming and told her she would have been a bridesmaid if she lived closer. She understood and was okay not being one. She's had a lot of big transitions over the past three years with work, moving and her mom. She told me that the wedding was fun, I looked nice, and it was an overall great day. I thanked her for the nice compliments and for being my friend all these years.
I noticed it thinned out some more and by about 8 p.m. a lot more of our guests went home. It was mostly just the wedding party, some friends and family down in the bottom of the barn. We did some dancing, there was a lot of drinking by some people, lap dances to raunchy music and for some reason Eliane decided to take the bar tender's tip jar and stuffed some of the money down people's dresses. At one point, I had probably $100 in my dress in various bills. Del, Celeste and Eliane were probably the drunkest that evening. Everyone else were hanging onto a good buzz.
It thinned out even more and more as we got closer to 10 p.m. Michael spent some time teaching Nicole and Del to dance for their upcoming wedding in September, there was more drinking, visiting and having a great time. At one point, I heard that Randy thought Megan was pretty cool and tried asking for her number. She declined for various reasons. Most of the wedding party stayed and helped close down the place. Darin and Barb put their equipment away, we put the drinks into the coolers, set some stuff aside for when we had to clean up our stuff the next day.
I grabbed the stuff I wanted to take back with me to the house, Randy thanked us for a great time and headed home and Isaac took Celeste home, haha. I have never seen her that drunk before and it was hilarious. A few people walked over to the house while Ben and I had Kari lock up the barn. Ben and I started back to the house and just could not believe the day was over. It really did go by quickly. All that preparation, time, money and planning...gone in less than 24 hours.
We get back to the house and Michael and Del were hanging out on the couch along with a few of our family members. They were finishing a movie and then they were going to go to bed because it was a long day. We started talking to Michael and Del and asked where Eliane and Nicole were. They said they were just with them and had no idea where they were. They actually got kinda worried. There was only one place they could be...we walked outside and there they were, in the pool splashing around and star gazing. I laughed at the stuff they were saying. They tried really hard to get us in the pool. I really didn't want to because then I'd have to take a shower in the cottage bathroom, which I wasn't a fan of. I chose to hang out instead.
Just after midnight everyone retired to their rooms. Ben and I walked out to the cottage and got ready for bed. I was so tired I could hardy think straight. I've always wondered what kind of a wedding I would have or what type of person I would marry one day. I truly believe I found the perfect person to do life with. He compliments me to where I can be myself without any judgement...of course we are going to make fun of each other every chance we get, but who wouldn't? The actual wedding turned out better than I imagined it was going to go. Everything we did was perfect and we will always have these great memories surrounded by family and friends --our biggest support system.
I do have to admit. It was nice being the center of attention and looking pretty for a day. Shhh, don't tell anyone.
Next Adventure: The Day After
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